One REALLY Long Presidency

Dad was having a flashback to the past--the way past.

"Roosevelt is president. Hoover used to be president. But now Roosevelt is president."

At dinner he asked us if we had a radio in the house. When I asked him why, he said that he wanted to find out what radio programs were on.

"We don't have a TV. TVs are too expensive. We listen to programs on the radio."

"We can't afford a TV. TVs cost too much."

He says as he sits in his chair 5 feet away from his TV...

Christopher Colunbus

Dad was in a talkative mood today when I picked him up to take him to the dentist. In fact, he talked all through having his teeth cleaned--an interesting undertaking.

"Columbus was my father. He died yesterday."

"Columbus got tired of living, so he died."

"Columbus was my grandfather. No, he was my father."

"Columbus got tired of living in Texas, so he went to South America. He lived all over South America."

"When he got tired of living, he died. He died yesterday."

"Columbus lived all over America, then in Texas, and all over South America. He died in Texas."

"I am Spanish because Columbus was from Spain. They speak Spanish in South America."

"Columbus lived a long, long, long time. Then he got tired and died yesterday."

Money Matters

Money is a common theme among individuals with dementia. This is especially true for Dad. He switches between thinking that he has no money at all and that we are stealing from him to thinking that he is extremely rich. Tonight he was rich.

"I'm the richest man in Texas, that is what I am."

"I'm THE richest man in Texas, I thank God for that."

"How much money do I have. None of your damn business."

"I'm the richest man in Texas. I have four children."

"Dr. Smith said I could feed all four of my children the same thing because I'm the richest man in Texas."

"I'm the richest man in Texas. I have millions and millions of dollars."

"I line my four kids up, two sets of twins, and kiss them good night every night because I love them very much."

"I have four kids because I'm the richest man in Texas."

"I have 100 million dollars, so I'm the richest man in Texas."

"I love my 8 children very much. I kiss them every night."

"I'm very tired because I'm the richest man in Texas."

Suprise for Bloomberg

Dad's sister was born in 1906 and died in the early 1990s. After attending nursing school in California, she returned home to Texas and lived with her parents for the rest of their lives. This weekend, I learned some amazing things about her.

"My sister met a man and fell in love. Then they got married."

"The man my sister married became the mayor of New York City. He is now the mayor of New York City. That is where they live."

"My sister's picture is on the front page of the New York Times because she is married to the mayor of New York City."

"I saw my sister's picture on the front page of the Dallas Morning News because she is the wife of the mayor of New York City. She is a very beautiful woman."

"The mayor of New York City married my sister because she is so beautiful."

Age

Dad has obsessed about his age for several years. Tonight he was talking about how old he was. After saying that he was very old and still quite young almost in the same breathe, he said, "I wish I knew how old I am."

I told him that he is 88.

His response: "Well, I'll be dad gummed. I had no idea I was that old!"

Finger Painting

We have a new problem since Dad came home from skilled nursing. Dad is bowel incontinent. Just like our 2 year old grandson, Dad will say he is not dirty even if he is and will refuse to sit on the toilet to have a bowel movement. Lately, however, he has started something new. If he's dirty and we don't catch it right away, he digs in his diaper. I guess he's trying to get rid of it, but what he ends up doing is smearing poop everywhere. We euphemistically call it "fingerpainting."

Thursday afternoon, Dad fingerpainted himself and his leather
recliner. Last night, he fingerpainted his bed. For daytime
fingerpainting, my husband has come up with a solution for now. We
used a leather punch to punch some extra holes in Dad's belt and lock
it closed with a suitcase-sized lock. That way Dad can't get his
pants completely off, and we can catch him before he digs completely
in his diaper. Now if we could come up with a solution for pajamas.
I don't really want to sew belt loops on his pjs.

Australia

Dad fell and broke the top of his femur yesterday. We had to call an ambulance to transport him to the emergency room where they decided he needed immediate surgery. Fortunately he was able to understand where he was and why he needed surgery. However, immediately after surgery, he had some interesting ideas:

"I need to go to Australia. They can fix broken bones in Australia."

"I broke a bone, so you need to take me to Australia. Australia is the only place where they can fix bones."