Bedtime stories

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, will you let me go to sleep?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, will you let me go to sleep?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, if I close my eyes will you let me go to sleep?"

Followed by:

My husband: "Why did you spit on the floor?"

Answer: "I didn't have anywhere else to spit."

My husband shows him the trashcan next to his chair and tells him that he can spit in there--or swallow it.

A few minutes later: "I don't have to spit on the floor. I can spit on the thing. All my life I've spit on the floor."

My husband: "I've known you over 30 years, and you've never spit on the floor."

Later, we hear Dad practicing spitting in the trashcan. "I don't have to spit on the floor. I can spit in the can."

Over, and over, and over--he's going to be dehydrated by morning.